I am determined to make this weightloss thing into an obsession. OBSESSION! I’ve been trying to recall how I managed to do it back then, what I did to motivate myself but I’m having difficulty. I am hoping by posting pictures of beautiful skinny bodies and having them wherever I go will do the trick, hence the photo at the side of this post. I also am very determined to have my body turn into that. YUMMEH! I admit it may seems a little ambitious but hey, aim for the moon and fall among the stars right? Heheh!

In case you are wondering why I am making my weightloss attempt public is because this way, I may be more reluctant to turn back. I may be okay with failure but I am absolutely not fine with public failure.

Another thing I am determined for is doing well in the office. I recently got a double promotion at work and now I have more tasks and responsibilities. It also puts me in the commission scheme. I find it to be a lot to digest and learn

It’s been 3 days since I started regurgitating my food again in my desperate quest for beauty. By beautiful, I mean druggie manorexic looking. I’m not one to care about health at all. All I care about is looking beautiful and desirable again goddamnit!

I know what I’m getting into so no judgement please. I love food too much to be on silly diets and I work from 8 to 6 most days so I can’t seem to find the time to work out. Also the fact that I cannot find the motivation to do so.

So far it’s been going well. The finger shoving is getting easier by the day as is getting less and less painful. The only thing I hate about doing it is the after taste which is disgusting obviously. Result has yet to show physically and since I forgot to weigh myself on day 1, I have no idea how much I’ve lost. I did step on the scale today and will only be stepping on it again after 3 days. If I don’t see much difference, then I will have to resort to decreasing my food intake drastically. But I hope it won’t come to that.

I’m really excited for this!

What motivated me to do this? Well I was cleaning up my folders and came across old pictures of myself, taken just last year.

Damn, I always knew I looked good but dayumm, I never realized I was THAT beautiful! LOL! Don’t mind the make-up. I was just practicing some new looks.

This following picture was taken 14 months later, which was last month.

So much difference. I hate it! Skin and bones, here I come!

I will be reporting my progress from time to time so for anyone actually interested in following, be sure you check in again. And I have to mention as a moral obligation, I do not encourage losing weight by starving yourselves or throwing up everything you eat. It is unsafe. You should not do it!

Hypocrite much?

Fred, the baby brother i never had. I can just see us trashwhores on that stage, or that corner by the rails, looking down at those losing it on the stage. Ahh, the days when we use to just dance til dawn, literally. I’m a little past it these days; the last being with Ed when we were on our late expeditions to Alhambra Lounge, or the Bowery (and maccas). 

I don’t dance as much any more.. Because I don’t need to. People are weird and they freak me out. I’d rather be at the comfort of the balcony, chilling with Ed. Fred’s not here anymore. I imagine we’d still have our own commitments yet will do the odd random shenanigans, this time with roadtrips and partying with nature instead. 

NS, 25 June 2009

Awwhh… I love that chick! Bizotch, e-mail me. It has been a while and I want updates.

Anyway, I was in the paper yesterday. See if you can spot me.

Is anyone else not bothered about this H1N1 epidemic?

I don’t think I am being ignorant. I just kinda don’t care.

It’s just a flu that may or may not be fatal. Just like driving a car which is an activity which may or may not be fatal. You just need to drive cautiously. In the case of H1N1, you just gotta keep clean.

I don’t find the need obsessing over it.

What you do need to obsess over is Michael Jackson’s death! It has been about 4 days since the tragedy and I still cannot accept the fact that he’s dead. So sad.

Who besides myself, find the song ‘I know you want me’ by Pitbull crazy annoying but addictive at the same time?

CAN’T.

STOP.

LISTENING.

Wow, I cannot believe I have been an Apple user for almost a year now but have only recently just discovered Transmission torrent downloader thingo. Up until then, I have been downloading my media the old-fashion way; via google search engine. Hahah! So now I am on a downloading frenzy. I can here my mum yelling from downstairs why the internet is so slow.

Do not mention Limewire to me. I find that software crap and I hate it.

Oooh, I shaved my cat Bailey’s fur off 3 days ago using the clipper and gave him a lion cut. The shedding got too unbearable and I want him to have a fresh coat by Eid Mubarak celebration in September. But you know what? I guess with new haircut, comes new found confidence because last night, he mated for the first time with Mamacita which I am so very proud of. If it was successful, I should be expecting baby kittens in 9 weeks.

Excitement!

Above is a photo taken from a recent road trip to Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia. As usual, I don’t really remember much of the trip because I spent about 70% of my time there consuming alcoholic beverages. By the way something funny happened there. One of the nights at a nightclub, a bartender rolled her eyes at me when I ordered a drink which caused me to go into a campy hissy fit. Keep in mind, I was already off my tits at the time. Manager came out to try and settle me down but I wouldn’t have any of it. I kept on yelling and caused such a scene so in order to keep me quiet, the manager offered me free drinks for the res of the night. SCORE!!! So I ordered like a gazillion tequila shots, lined them in a row and downed them all, one right after the other. Beautiful night, even though I know I embarrassed myself over a stupid little thing but hey, I was in a foreign country. I doubt I’ll ever see any of those people again.

Besides getting shitfaced, a bunch of us also went to visit Dinawan Island which I was not impressed with. It was a nice island but it wasn’t THAAAT nice. Plus, the island caretaker gave us so many restrictions and limitations on what we can and cannot do like riding the jetski. We had to have one of the staff sit with us on the jetski and if he didn’t feel comfortable with where we were heading, he’d pull the emergency brake and that would send us flying off into the ocean.

Even more recent, last week to be exact I went to Bangkok, Thailand for the weekend and it was great. I mostly sat at cafes drinking Chang beers with my local friend Kay. Spent about SGD$750 for the whole 3D2N trip including my flights but I think it was all worth it. I just love being surrounded by tourists, meeting them and sharing stories and without anyone familiar around. Stayed at the Pratunam area but I mostly spent my time on Khao San road, backpackers central and the Silom area. Unfortunately my camera is broken from my last trip to Thailand back in April, so I did not take any photos this time but I didn’t do anything picture worthy anyway. Unless you like looking at photos of street side restaurants and hawker stalls.

Next month I am actually supposed to visit Kuching, Malaysia for the World Rainforest Music Festival but I think I might have to cancel it. I only got one page left on my passport which according to the folks at the immigration department, restricts me from traveling until I renew it. I also gotta start saving up now because I go on my annual 3 week leave from work in October and I need all the funds I can save up if I want to do something exciting.

On a different note, I just became active on twitter again so guys, come follow me.

I made a vow to myself, to not buy any clothes until I am back to my original size which is a size small torso and a size 28-30 pant size. It was supposed to motivate me to lose weight as it has worked before. Not this time. I am constantly growing and my clothes are limited.

I need to go shopping goddamnit!

Soooo I am going to try to lose weight the only way I know how; project eating disorder starts now. Desperate times call for desperate measures as they all say. 

Meet Kay. He is amazing.

Bailey has gotten huuuuuuge. Carrying him isn’t that easy anymore but still he is the cutest thing in the entire universe!

Tia Maria still has not started her mating call phase despite her being almost 11 months. But for a cat that grows super slow, she sure does act like an old cat i.e lazy and unattentive.

As for Mamacita, all her 9 kittens have found new homes. Mamacita is currently enjoying being a non-parent again. That is until her next pregnancy which I will make sure be caused by Bailey and not a stray cat again. After that, she will be spayed.

How are your cats doing?